


far away from the wreck we made

by softambrollins



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Goodbyes, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 12:51:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17601704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softambrollins/pseuds/softambrollins
Summary: "I fuckinghateyou," he gasps, and it almost comes out like a sob."I wish you did," Dean says gently, truthfully. "It would make this so much easier."





	far away from the wreck we made

**Author's Note:**

> Post-RAW 28th January. Title from [Happier](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RE87rQkXdNw), which is my unofficial theme song for them right now.
> 
> I truly hope Dean is happy with whatever he does next.

Dean's just getting some fresh air after the show, he definitely needs it after the night he's had, when a figure approaches from across the dark, deserted parking lot.

He just stares for a moment and by the time he realises who it is, it's too late to get the hell out of dodge.

"What the fuck, Dean?" Seth demands when he's within shouting distance, looking genuinely outraged. And very, very pissed-off. "Were you even gonna tell me?"

He knows exactly what he's talking about. He also knows that Seth is the _last_ person he wanted to know about this. Seems like nobody can keep a fucking secret in this business anymore.

"Seth — _what_ — what are you doing here?" he says, backing up a few steps, still a bit stunned by this turn of events. "You look terrible, man. You need to go, you shouldn't be here —"

"No, you don't get to tell me what to do," he says stubbornly. "Not anymore." 

Seth goes to lunge at him and Dean side-steps out of the way just in time. Seth's slower than usual. Figures, from what he just had to endure from Lesnar.

"Seth —"

Seth turns on him angrily instead. "You weren't gonna tell me, were you? You were just gonna fucking _leave_ without even looking me in the eyes and telling me why. _Again_."

Dean finally lets out an exasperated sigh. "Why do you even care, man?"

Seth narrows his eyes at him incredulously. "Why do I — Fuck you, Dean, _you're_ the one who walked away. Not me. And now you're walking away _again_. Like a fucking coward."

"You don't get it, Seth. You don't know _anything_ —" Dean tells him, frustrated.

"No, I don't," Seth says, shaking his head, almost disappointedly. "Because you won't fucking _talk_ to me. Not really. You're just hiding behind all this bravado and self-righteousness, and it's all _bullshit_. You keep talking about what I did to you, but it doesn't change what you did to _me_. You keep trying to deflect from the real problem, but I know you too damn well for it to work on me, Ambrose."

Dean lets out a breathless laugh, almost relieved. "Well, then you should be glad to see me and my bullshit go."

"No, it's not gonna be that easy," Seth says firmly, staring him down head-on. "You don't get to just fucking walk away from this. You don't get to walk away from _me_ again."

"Don't you get it, Seth?" Dean says, feeling so, so tired. "You should be fucking grateful to see me walking out of your life."

"I refuse to accept that, I _refuse_ —"

"I'm sorry, okay?" Dean bursts out. "Is that what you wanna hear? I'm sorry for _everything_. And it would be so much better for you if you just let me go. I promise you. Have a nice life, Seth."

Dean goes to move away, but Seth gets right in his way.

"No, _fuck you, Dean_ ," he says deliberately, pressing his index finger hard into his chest for emphasis. "You don't just get to say that like it's nothing and walk away like it makes us even, like it makes us okay —"

He tries again, but this time Seth grabs his arm and spins him back towards him. He's close enough to feel Seth's breath on his cheek. Seth's other hand starts curling into a fist. His entire body's visibly tense, he's almost _shaking_ with rage, a muscle twitching in his jaw.

Dean doesn't try to pull away, though. "Seth, you don't wanna do this, man," he says apologetically.

"What, fight you? Yeah, I'll fucking fight you right now. Is that what you want? Is that what'll make you stay and face me like a man?" Seth's starting to sound like a man possessed. Like a man who's finally realised he has nothing left. Dean knows that feeling all too well.

"Seth, _please_ — this isn't gonna end well," he tells him calmly. "I saw what Lesnar did to you. I'm not gonna fight you. Not like this."

Seth looks surprised for a second, and then his gaze softens just a little and he backs off an inch or two.

Then he lets go of his arm, with a defeated sigh.

"You're really gonna do this?" he asks, quieter now, voice wavering. "After everything? After Roman?"

Dean clenches his jaw. "That's a cheap fucking shot, Seth."

"Yeah, you'd know all about cheap shots, huh?" Seth says, but it's weak. He can't keep up the whole righteous fury act anymore. He knows he's lost. There's no going back. No saving any one of them. Seth can kick his ass in this parking lot if he wants to, it's not gonna change anything.

Dean doesn't deny it, just raises his eyes to meet Seth's, looking up at him through his eyelashes.

Seth just looks back at him like he's never seen him before.

"Dean, what the hell happened to you?" he murmurs, sounding dazed.

Dean shakes his head, looks away before he starts talking. "I just — I can't do this anymore, Seth," he says helplessly. "It all feels wrong. It's felt wrong for a long time. I came back for _you_ , I came back for you and Roman, and I thought that was enough. I thought that would be enough, that it would feel _right_ again eventually. But it didn't — and then everything just got worse and worse and then went to shit. And I couldn't _stand_ it anymore. Couldn't stand the fucking way you were looking at me, like I was gonna be the one to save you. When I was the biggest fucking mess on the planet."

"So you tore my heart out instead," Seth finishes evenly, like he understands, almost, in some fucked-up way. "So I'd never look at you like that again."

"You should've walked away after that night, Seth," Dean says, teeth gritted. "Would've been better for both of us. It wouldn't have come to _this_." This, Seth staring at him right now in this moment, is his worst nightmare come to life.

"Are you — You _knew_. You knew you were going to do this. That's why you —" Dean sees it dawn on him as he says it, the utter horror and disbelief that it's actually true. 

Dean just levels him with silence. But that's as much an admission as anything.

"I fucking _hate_ you," he gasps, and it almost comes out like a sob.

"I wish you did," Dean says gently, truthfully. "It would make this so much easier."

"I'm not gonna forgive you if you leave. Not ever," Seth says, shaking his head, furious tears in his eyes.

"Fine, I can live with that." He can live with Seth hating him, never forgiving him, as long as Seth's here and he's not. As long as he's not inflicting more damage on his already broken heart. Sometimes Dean isn't sure he can live without Seth. But Seth needs to learn how to live without him.

Dean just looks at him and he sees the exact moment when Seth's face just _breaks_.

Dean takes a step forward and pulls him into a crushing embrace. Seth doesn't resist, just clutches back at him, hard, almost painful, like he wants to hurt him and keep him close at the same time. He can feel the sobs wracking his body, Seth's face buried in his shoulder.

Dean just holds him there until he stops, cradling his head against him, and then he rests a gentle hand on the back of his neck and guides his mouth up to his own to kiss him.

It's just a few minutes but it feels like several lifetimes, Seth kissing him back, hard and long and lingering, like he doesn't want to let go ever, Dean's hands on his face, still feeling the wetness on his cheeks, committing the feel of him to memory. When they pull apart, Seth just keeps holding on to him.

"I _can't_ — I can't do this without you," Seth says desperately into his chest. 

Dean raises Seth's head up again, puts both hands on the sides of his face, brushing his hair back out of his eyes, so he can look at him properly.

"Yeah, you can," Dean tells him earnestly. "You'll be fine. You'll be a great champion. You deserve that. Make sure to kick some ass for me, alright?"

Dean leans in and brushes one more brief kiss across his lips before finally turning and swiftly walking away into the darkness.


End file.
